Saturday Morning Dispatch No.7
Hello there! Happy New Year! I’ve missed you! My brain is still coming back online after the holidays so bear with me as I try to remember how to do words. If I start using words like “mate” and “wackadoo” it’s because my kids and I have been binge watching Bluey. I regret nothing.
Let’s talk about birthday parties.
Photo by Weegee, ca. 1953
My littlest friend has a birthday this month, and she’s requested a rainbow party. Planning has gone like this:
Step 1: Search for ideas on Pinterest.
Step 2: Text a friend.
Me: Bug’s birthday is in two weeks and she wants a rainbow theme.
Friend: Have you started your life-sized rainbow balloon arch yet for the party? Juuuust kidding
Me: Were you spying on my aspirational Pinterest board?
Friend: lol no it’s just the most labor intensive rainbow thing I could come up with
Step 3: Remove life-sized rainbow balloon arch kit from Etsy shopping cart.
This exchange reminded me that I’m hosting an elevated play date, not a Pixar movie premiere. Would my kid be super excited about a rainbow balloon arch? Probably. But will she miss it if it’s not there? Is it worth spending time and money we don’t have? Nope. I have plenty of other things planned that will make for a special day. I love celebrations, and making people feel special and welcome and loved, and I love putting together a pretty party. But I don’t love the expectation, real or perceived, to make every birthday live up to the standards of a Beverly Hills bat mitzvah.
Sensible 1980’s birthday party.
When I catch myself creating unnecessary angst over something that’s supposed to be fun, I try to remember these things:
In my former life as a wedding blogger, I spent approximately 96% of my time looking at gorgeous photos of extravagant weddings, and guess what? Ten thousand perfect roses and a sparkler send-off doesn’t necessarily make for a more fun party, or a longer, happier marriage. I’m not saying fancy details are bad, I’m just saying they’re beside the point. With my own wedding, I started asking myself this question: “What decisions would I make if I knew there wouldn’t be any photos?” In this ridiculous age of taking hundreds of digital snapshots every minute of every day and then making all of them public, it doesn’t hurt to ask this question about pretty much everything.
With three kids who each have a birthday every year, it didn’t take me long to realize that they are super not interested in my aspirational Pinterest boards. They care about cake and ice cream, balloons, and having friends and/or family there to celebrate with them. That’s it. Beyond that, how elaborate or expensive I want to make it is really about me. (Joanna Goddard from Cup of Jo always has her kids’ parties at the park, orders pizza, does a stack of donuts for cake, and everyone is happy - this is brilliantly low key and easy enough to do every year which turns it into a tradition which makes it even better.)
Little kid parties last for, what, two hours? Maintain some perspective. A balloon garland Instagram backdrop might not be the best use of your time and money. Or it might be! I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just saying, if you need to make some decisions, find the sweet spot where your Budget, Bandwidth, and Skill Set intersects with What Will Make Your Kid and Your Guests Happy. If a custom balloon backdrop isn’t in the middle of that particular Venn diagram, let it go.
Do not give your child options that you don’t actually want them to choose. It seems obvious, but I’m amazed at how often I give my kids some choices, and then I’m disappointed when they choose one of the choices that I’ve given them. Why would I ask, “Do you want to invite a few friends or your whole class?” when the only correct answer is, “A few friends?” Exactly.
Cake makes it a party!
That’s it for my reality check pep talk. Here’s to approaching celebrations in a way that amplifies joy rather than squashes it. Huzzah!
Did you also have two snow days this week? It’s the perfect time to pull out the Penguins Discovery & Play Guide! Full of super easy ideas to fill those days in meaningful ways. Check it out here.
Crepes are for Sundays.
Do you have a weekend breakfast routine? My kids eat brightly colored, nutritionally-void cereals on Saturday mornings, but I’ve always wanted to be one of those families that have waffles or pancakes every Sunday. I have a favorite waffle recipe from Sam Sifton, and a favorite pancake recipe from Deb Perelman, but my Sunday morning self is an underachiever who needs things to be reeeeally easy.This kind of easy.
Crepes are the answer.
I always have the ingredients on hand. The batter gets made in the blender. I can make it the night before if I feel like it. You can fill them with just about anything. I don’t know how authentically French these are, but I’ll happily serve them to anyone who finds themselves in my Wisconsin kitchen on a Sunday. Let me know if you try them!
SUNDAY MORNING CREPES RECIPE
ingredients:
1 cup milk (I’ve also used soy milk with success)
⅓ cup water
3 eggs
1 cup flour
1 tbsp sugar
¼ tsp salt
3 tbsp butter, melted
directions:
Put all ingredients in the blender, and blitz until smooth. The consistency will be thin, not like regular pancake batter.
Heat a heavy cast-iron or nonstick skillet (or dedicated crepe pan you got for Christmas) until really hot. Like, hotter than you think is right. Pour in about ¼ cup of batter and quickly tilt and sort of swirl the pan so the batter spreads and coats the pan evenly. Cook until the batter starts to set, about 30 seconds, then flip and cook another 30 seconds. (I’ve never actually timed myself, but that seems right - it’s fast, because the batter is thin and the pan is hot.)
Serve immediately to polite and patiently waiting children. Repeat until all the batter is gone.
FILLING IDEAS
I like salted butter and sugar. My kids like butter and jam. You can do Nutella or ricotta or whipped cream. You could eat them like pancakes with maple syrup. Or you could go savory with ham and cheese. I mean really, you can’t go wrong. Fill ‘em, roll ‘em, and eat ‘em up!
The first few crepes might be a mess, but once you get the hang of how hot to get the pan, how much batter to use, how to tilt the pan, and how long to cook them, you’ll be making these all the time.
This recipe makes enough for my family of two adults and three small children, but I usually double it anyway. Crepes reheat pretty well, or you can layer the leftovers with apricot jam and whipped cream and serve it as a cake for dessert.
Zero likes.
I stopped using Facebook during the last presidential campaign (10/10 recommend), and then about a year ago I took Instagram off my phone. My quality of life improved dramatically and it was glorious.
Then I started Fort Bramble and all the things said I needed to be on social media to promote myself. Uuuuuuuuuugh.
“Nobody Likes Me” by iHeart, Stanley Park, Vancouver
So I got back on Instagram and I noticed some things:
If I post something, I get itchy to check on it approximately every 12 seconds to see how many likes it’s getting.
I enjoy the funny/delicious/awesome things my sister shares with me, like this cat named Roger jumping off a boat or this grouchy guy making cotton candy art.
It’s fun to see pictures of my friends who live far away and who I rarely get to see in real life, but most of them don’t actually post much anymore.
My preferred source of news is only available on Instagram stories.
There are a handful of accounts that inspire me, and a boatload of accounts that inadvertently make me feel jealous or bad about myself and my life.
It takes all of three seconds to get sucked into scrolling. Gross.
My first choice would be to delete the app entirely, because I didn’t miss it when I deleted it before, and I’m doubtful the pros outweigh the cons. But for now, since I supposedly need to be on it to spread the word about my small business, here’s a thing I’m doing that helps mitigate the unpleasantness:
Whenever I see a post that makes me feel even a little bit lousy, envious, or insecure, or that makes me want to buy something, I mute or unfollow that account. I don’t stop to think about it. I don’t worry that I’m going to miss something important BECAUSE I WON’T. I just click a couple extra buttons and disappear them.
As far as the addictive nature of the thing, I ordered a Brick because I saw it advertised on Instagram. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Quote of the Day
“One day at a time,—this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.” —Ida Scott Taylor, from The Year Book of American Authors (1894)
Whew - I guess I remembered how to do words, maybe too many of them. Have a lovely weekend, my friends. Stay warm and make crepes!
Love, Kathryn